Things Not To Say To A Depressive

There are far too many times that people are less then sensitive to someone who is suffering from a depressive episode. All too often insensitive people do not understand that depression is a form of mental illness that a person has no choice about having anymore then someone who is deaf or blind. Therefore it would be nice to see a little more compassion and understanding. So, here are some things to avoid saying to someone who is going through a depressive episode.

Avoid telling them that it is all in their minds or that if they just stopped feeling sorry for themselves it would all go away. This is a simplistic view of depression and completely wrong. Asking someone if they have been reading the bible or praying for relief from their depression is more than useless. A person’s religious beliefs are private and not likely to save them from a depressive episode.

Telling someone that they do not look depressed is a meaningless statement. What is someone supposed to look like when they are depressed? Asking a woman if she is suffering from PMS is also out of line. Would a man be asked such a ridiculous question? Why do people insist on telling someone having a depressive episode that they are merely having a bad day or that smiling more would make things better for them? How come people do not have the sensitivity to see that the person is having a problem that mere smiling will not cure.

Then there are those who assume that buying something will solve all the problems the depressive is dealing with. How many times have they been told to buy themselves a new outfit, or a box of chocolates or some other totally inane suggestion that will make a material purchase solve a chemical imbalance? Then there are those that will suggest going out for a good meal or to a movie to cheer them up. They do not require cheering up but some understanding from their peers would be a nice bonus.

Others think that something to fill the time will be a big help and suggest that getting a boyfriend/girlfriend, a hobby or a puppy will solve everything. But when someone is in a depressive state the last thing they want to do is become involved with new people or new responsibilities.

Suggesting to someone that all they require is a little exercise, a walk in the fresh air or perhaps a cup of chamomile tea is also of no help. If it were that simple all the depressives in the world would be cured in moments. Still another irritating line is telling someone that nobody is responsible for their depression. What is that supposed to mean? Depressives do not blame others for their problems but understand that it is caused by a chemical imbalance that can be helped with certain medications and sometimes with counseling. It’s too bad all the know-it-alls do not know that as well.